Monday, August 15, 2005

Elvis Costello - Crawling to the USA

ACK!!! I am a lost soul.

I have had this 'goal' of losing weight for my 40th birthday for months. And while I have kind of exercised, I have not eaten well. It's not I've generally eaten poorly, but I have eaten way too much. And this weekend, I actually lost a few pounds. And yesterday, although we were supposed to fast, it being Tisha B'Av, I totally forgot, and ate. But I did eat sensibly. So this morning, I weigh myself, am happy and committed. So lunchtime coworkers invite me to lunch and I went and ate way too much... I am now falling asleep and feeling betrayed by myself. Truly, I am my own worst enemy. I am the Fool of Proverbs. Either because I am being idolatorous, and have made losing weight into a false god, or because I am always sabotaging the goals I set with my thoughtless behavior.


Ari said...

But I thought you said you lost weight over the weekend - what gives?

lee said...

well, yeah! I did. But yesterday's lunch made me gain most of it back. Today I am walking a lot at lunch to try and at least not go backwards.